2011 Allan Border Medal

The Allan Border Medal is quintessentially, Cricket's answer to The Brownlow. For the most part, when the two sports: AFL and cricket are compared, it becomes increasingly apparent that AFL supersedes cricket in all facets of entertainment value, scandal, player attractiveness, style and general gossip. In fact, the only cricketers who manage to capture my attention are Shane Warne (for dating Liz Hurley) and Michael Clarke (for dating Lara Bingle). Unfortunately, neither Liz nor Lara were present at this year's subsequently "Allan Bore-der Medal". Instead, the red carpet was graced by the presence of no-name WAGS who proved that when compared with the likes of AFL WAG royalty - Lauren Phillips and Rebecca Twigley - these cricketing wives and girlfriends bowl out time and time again. The AFL WAGS really are in a whole different ball game. Literally.

Lee Furlong wearing what has been the most talked about gown of the Allan Border Medal - stunning.

Jacqui Morris looks uncomfortably stiff - either she's wearing a too-tight girdel or someone's shoved a wicket up her ass. The dress isn't doing anything for me either. 

Katrina Quaine really needs to loose the quiff. That hairstyle is so school girl circa 2005. The dress is nothing special, white and silver has been done to death. Would it kill people to step outside the square once in a while??

To me, most attractive pregant women look adorable and Kirsty Hussey is no exception. I like that she's strategically holding her belly to show off her shape - just in case there was any doubts about her bulging belly - is she with child or with chocolate cake? The dusty pink colour also highlights her prenatal glow - a very flattering cut to show off her arms and décolletage. 

That awkward moment when your date is taller than you on the red carpet... Merideth Jenkins looks like she should belong on the set of Paris Hilton's MTV show: My New BFF. This dress is more Guess by Marciano than Gucci or Machesa. 

You know those couples who just look wrong together? Well, this is one of them. Why Emma Doherty - with her Spanish dark features - chose this puce coloured dress is beyond me. A bright colour like red would've really popped on her. Also, her boobs really do speak for themselves, she didn't need the sewn-on jewels to highlight them further. 

Hannah Steele, I believe the brown paper bag is meant to go over your head - not your body.

What on earth is that bag Amy Hussey's carrying? Looks like she could smack someone over the head with it and knock them out. It's more ready-to-wreck rather than ready-to-wear. Look! Prada is right behind you go over and pick out something nice! Had the band around her dress been something more exciting than black, this dress may have actually been a winner. 

I LOVE this dress. Hate the shoes and bag thought but all in all, compared to her red carpet counterparts, Steve Smith's date has done very well for herself. However, another point of contention is the hairdo - the slicked back bun is a personal favourite of mine... when I'm hungover or going to the gym! I feel given the nature of the event, more effort needed to be made here.

How on earth can Dianne Hauritz walk in this dress? Sometimes, actually, most of the time - we put ourselves through pain and discomfort in the name of fashion. Hauritz is either blind or a sadist because there is really nothing to be gained in this bulky, blanche number.

Rianna Ponting looks like some Dancing with the Stars Desperado in this curve-hugging number. Too many frills and pleats and black of all colours??? She looks like some sort of Spanish emo with her dark eyes and black accessories. 

Jessica Bratich sizzles in this red dress! Love the back, almost reminds me of a more subdued version of the Balenciaga red bow dress Nicole Kidman wore to the 2007 oscars. Finally some colour!

Karina Haddin looks like she's wearing one of those draw-string curtains that gapes in the middle. Why would any woman want to add volume (by way of bunched fabric) around their middle and waist-line? HELLO?! Is she high? Gah, I can't look at this anymore the sheer fabric is giving me a headache.

Jessica Farrell looks gorgeous in the fitted, metallic number. I'm a sucker for metallics done well. Her style, hair, makeup emulates that of Erin McNaught. The only problem I have is that this couple, like many before them, have been hit with what I like to call Kurban Syndrome (Kidman-Urban) - what is with all these vertically challenged men dating such long, leggy women? While he does have a handsome face, I still think Aiden Blizzard is batting above his average (no pun intended). 

Maria Verti looks like she put a bowl on her head, picked up a pair of scissors and cut around it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: fringes are not meant for the 18+. I can also see her underwear through her dress. 

I'll take the one in the middle please. 

OMG TORI SPELLING!!! Oh. Wait. It's only Amanda Watson. Save the cut-outs for the beach and the jewel appliques for the bedroom. In most cases, the general rule is "less is more". Yet I'm willing to make an exception for this holey horror! Watson definitely needs more coverage, even if she is trying to wow us all with her pilates and raw food body. 

Belinda Roberts is the perfect example of "when ugly dresses happen to pretty girls". This two-toned tragedy has so many things going on with it at once I almost didn't notice Clint McKay's crutches. Wait, maybe that was the point...?

I really don't have much to say about Ellyse Perry and her dress, it's ugly but not for any stand-out reason. It just is what it is.