If these two had a kid, he'd probably be born wearing colour-rimmed sunglasses. He'd also probably be called Bazza or Jezza.
To the second girl on the right - your Arabella Ramsay shorts look adorable!
Hate to break it to you pal, but I think that denim vest is a few sizes too small... He probably has the cleavage to pull it of though.
Do you think you're some sort of underbelly badass walking around with a tattoo-clad mate and the word "High" feat. image of a burning joint written on your top?
"Unit" - LOL
Oh babe, that denim waistecoat is doing nothing for you. And as for your friend, who the heck wears a dress to a music festival and drinks champagne?? THIS ISN"T THE MELBOURNE CUP! FMF may have been held at Flemmington but the only horses at this festival is the one in this photo (on the right).
These two look more suited to Brisbane FMF - their dress sense screams Gold Coast trash.
cute playsuit in the middle not sure about the appropriateness of her friend on the right's outfit though
Is it a pig? Or a mouse? Who cares! It's downright FUG.
ZOMG havinggg theeee siikkkesttt timeee evahhhhhhhhhh!!!!
I bet this guy thinks he is THE biggest pimp. tri-winning?
"WOW" is right. You guys really do look that stupid. Even if you are trying to be clever with your reference to The Chemical Brother's Salmon Dance.
This guy looks like a woggy Gene Simmonds... and the his and her hats further confirm the bogan status of these two. Aren't they a little old to be hitting up FMF anyways?
Ahoy! All aboard the S.S. Slut
Please. Someone just get her a kaftan!!
If you squint really hard, this guy could almost pass as a gay, blonde version of Robert Pattinson...
FMF is not just a topz off event for boys. Yet, then again, this girl really does put the MAN in woMAN.
Where's the Pied Piper when you need him? There sure are plenty of drowned rats around!
Shouldn't you be home with your kids or something?
I like what this girl is wearing here, no midriff and no inappropriately short shorts.
Rule no. 1: when you have that much fake tan on, and it is raining, you do not wear white. I can imagine these three leaving a fanta-coloured trail of puddles behind them once the rain came.
Shame on you for letting your boyfriend leave the house with that hideous wig (is it a wig??!!) on!
Sensation White - anything but sensational.
Introducing MTV Asia's brand new show: Korean Shore! I'd nominate the ripped guy in white as Asia's answer to "The Situation".
Is this one of those Macbook photobooth parallel image things?
Wayne's World?
Honey, it's not the Races, you can do without the fascinator. And while you're at it, how about you just do away with the whole damn outfit - friends included.
These two look like they'd be better suited to attend a Justin Bieber concert rather than the 18+ FMF.
If Janet Jackson couldn't make the boob/star thing work then lady, you have don't have a hope in hell!
Phew! Thank GOD she wore that black bolero! It will really keep her warm and help protect her from the elements.. Her whole outfit goes so well with her boyfriend's Bali D&G tank and wannabe Craig David goatee. Probably Melbourne's classiest couple since Carl and Roberta Williams.
Whoa whoa ease up on the slurpees buddy! You don't want to be adding "diabetes" to your list of attributes - (right under "ranga" and "dole bludger") - the chicks in Cranbourne will be lining up for miles :|
These 4 look like they belong in some sort of Muzza Boy Band. Maybe instead of Westlife, they could be called "Westie-life"
Babe, you may "heart Australia", but Australia doesn't heart you...
Just doing the old armpit sniff/b.o. check... yep still fresh!
hot girls at future music festival? it's like finding a needle in a haystack!
the guy in the green cap looks like he's about to OD anyyyyy minute now!
This looks painful.
The Skank Patrol! Can I get some coffee with that muffin top? or some lighting with those thunder thighs?
They're still making peasant tops?
How passionate...
What a classy looking couple. I sure hope they're using protection, Melbourne does not need this DNA spreading...
The girl on the right is the same girl from the kissing photo above, she gets around...
Ah, another ill-fated couple with the Nicole Kidman/Keith Urban height complex... I like her top though!
I hope these girls are getting paid A LOT of money to wear this...
Here is an equation that I see time and time again, festival after festival, without fail. It defies all logic, rationality and all laws of physics. Yet nevertheless, the theory continues to prove correct: the bigger the girls = the smaller the clothes. Truly mind boggling stuff.
Dear LORD! What are those pants?? I feel like I need to be wearing sunglasses just to look at them! And those super high top gold sneakers really do put the cherry on top of this hideous outfit...
...and just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, she puts on the glasses!!
nawww bogan love <3
Welcome to the gun show
I like this LA top lots. I also have body envy over her legs.
these two are my favourites. they're like a transvestite version of Kath & Kim. Totally taking the piss out of 99% public's festival fashion choices. so good!!!!
It's ironic that the guy wearing the sombrero, actually looks like he could be from Mexico.
Fresh out of prison? In those matching stripe tanks, they won't stay out for long if the fashion police catch them! (and yes that was a lame call but I bet you if Joan Rivers were here she'd say the exact same thing!)
What is wrong with some people!?
Festival goers, please do not buy the festival merchandise, even if you're hot and skinny you will look like a dickhead.
umm... is that a kilt?
Just a casual bit of cross-dressing...
If there's one thing worse than buying festival merchandise, it's making your own and wearing it. Does that girl's top say "I Heart Honda"?? The guy on the far left's tank also reads "Shot Master" - It's because of people like you that bullies like the runt kid in the Casey Bully Youtube video even exist!
OMG so much Ke$ha fever in the air I can taste it! And it tastes like skank mixed with a bottle of jack!
you are absolutely disgraceful. Do you think any of your denigrating, patronising comments were funny? Calling girls fat, "envying" anorexic figures, being racist???? are you serious???...seemingly you have a severe eating disorder and a severe self confidence issues. this blog is a pathetic, sad joke. surely you don't think you will gain popularity by putting others down so as to assert some kind of superiority????? i am shocked. how dare you get photos of strangers and right nasty, harsh comments. either you were bullied severely in high school or were a bully yourself. get over yourself, pull you head in and grow up. melbourne does not need your vicious commentary.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous, don't you think you're a bit of a hypocrite calling girls you do not know "anorexic"? it is pretty narrow minded and "patronising" of you to accuse a girl of having an eating disorder (which is a serious mental and physical illness) just because they are thin. similarly, you have no idea who I am or what I look like yet you are so quick to stereotype me and jump to the conclusion that I suffer from a "severe eating disorder" or have "severe self confidence issues" - seems as though the pot is calling the kettle black here don't you think?.
ReplyDeleteAs for your ignorant allegation that I am a racist - you couldn't be further from the truth. In actuality, based on my heritage I fall into the stereotyped category of wog/muzza so if I don't find those terms offensive why should anyone else? MTV has created an entire show "Jersey Shore", which attracts millions of viewers who enjoy laughing at the "wog" stereotype. "Kath and Kim" did a similar thing with bogans, as did "Summer Heights High" and "We Can Be Heros" - so maybe get off your high horse and learn to take a joke. If not, don't read my blog, I don't care. I'm not doing this to gain popularity or whatever other misinterpreted, childish motives you've attributed to me and my blog.
It may make you feel like a better person to believe that I was either bullied or a bully in high school but without meaning to disappoint, I was neither - and high school was so long ago (for me anyway) who even cares. This blog is not about people being fat or thin it is about what people wear. It is a fashion commentary on Melbourne style. I'm not interested in whether a person's BMI falls into the healthy or unhealthy category - that's something they can take up with their doctor. What interests me is people's choice of outfits and when an overweight girl wears skimpy clothing, she looks bad (in my opinion, and yes, I have the right to voice my opinion whether you agree with it or not because this is a democracy and freedom of speech is a civil liberty).
Also, you say "Melbourne doesn't need my vicious commentary" - since when did you become the sole voice of our city? Who died and made you Queen of Melbourne? If you don't like this blog - don't read it. Thank you for your feedback as always. Remember, this is a fashion blog, not a pro-anna website (as you seem to think it is).
Great post. Lol'd the entire time.
ReplyDelete"The Skank Patrol! Can I get some coffee with that muffin top? or some lighting with those thunder thighs?"
ReplyDelete..yes bitch, because that comment really pertains to fashion or one's outfit? get a real job. loser.
You must have no life.
ReplyDeleteOn a plus side, you do find the best pictures of the sexiest girls, so ignoring your stupid, hate-filled, vitriolic comments makes this blog a worthwhile browse.